And now they're playing your song.

Cynical.Confine.Betrayed.Worn

. and i still can't fight it off.

So here i go,
from the Eminor down to D and up to G, im disarmed.
like a smashing pumpkin.
And i silently whistle;
Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus... on and on.
This song that's sang over and over again in restless breaths.
It's up to you to change your song; to slow it down, to beat it up, to accelerate it;
To do something meaningful out of it.
But this is my song, and your not in the band.
This is my life, not yours.

And the sad singer reaches to the other side,

Escaping from a world of blinded minds,

Filled with corporate lies,

That brings us all to fail,

Through crushed smiles, aching laughs and beautified pain.

Are we bound to live like this?

Catch me

.emily

Watching from the border line.

So what about the shy ones? What about the geeks? What about the uglies? What about the weaks? What about the differents? What about the troubled? What about the lonelies? What about the sad ones? What about the lost souls? What about the ones who can't fight it off? What about me? What about them? Silence only makes you stronger, but when someone's stronger, there must be someone weaker, and that person is me, that person is them.Im just looking from the border lines, watching out for something harder yet melodic. It's a boredom to watch the world making the same mistakes again and again. It's scary to see people feeling pleasure while hurting someone weaker than them. What the hell is it gonna bring you? Satisfaction? Power? Happiness? I doubt it, all it's gonna bring you is a feeling of superiority but in the end, your the one that's ugly.

.emily

As I sing in the lost voice of a stranger in love.

Reality is hard to deal with.
Damn, i just can't explain what's aching like that, it's scary.
You know, it seems like im walking around with this big hole inside me, everything feels so empty. Im lost & weak.

.emily

Obliterated memories, aching mind & bittersweet changes.

It's starting to be hard.

Really.
Im coming to a point where im not so sure of myself anymore, im not sure of who i am and what i want. They say it's normal at my age, every teenagers lives through this but everyone i know seems so sure of where they're going and how it will be. Im also coming to this point where i find it hard to pretend to be who i don't want to be. You know, this makes me realize how much we change through our life. Most of the time, i tend to think we change because of all the thing we went through, wether it's good or bad. Im also realizing how much people i love change. I try and try but sometime I can't keep up with them and i can't relate no more. And that hurts. Cause we all fell damn close to someone once and then some changes put us apart. Changes, changes, changes...WHY? Some people never change and really should. Other people are perfect the way they are and then changes...or they find themselves I guess. Anyway. This makes me wonder if it's worth faking everything I got in my insides just to escape from fading away from someone's life. Sometime's I wonder if it's worth the pain. You know, Kurt said; ''Im not like them but i can pretend.'' I totally agree with that lyric and i love it but the thing is, I get tired of pretending. I want to be who I am. But I gotta say that they're are some people I am myself with, cause with them I know I won't be judge or ignored. I just think it's sad to see those changing minds obliterate the path we traced, it's sad to see them turning away.

''When the fire goes out you better learn to fake''
-C.Love in Hole


.emily